


Strange & Erratic Portents

by JanuaryGrey (Jan3693)



Series: The Rise and Fall of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, But can be read alone, Divination, Gay Sirius Black, Getting Together, James and Lily play matchmaker, M/M, Mutual Pining, Remus is a magical stoner, Sirius is a total wine snob, drinking and minor drug use, lots of friendships, part of a series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2020-10-20 07:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20671526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jan3693/pseuds/JanuaryGrey
Summary: His friends may think the entire subject is rubbish, but Sirius has always had a penchant for divination. However, it feels like it’s beginning to turn against him. Everywhere he looks, Sirius is seeing signs and omens pointing him in a very particular direction. If only he could tell whether they’re foretelling something good, or a future that’s going to break his heart. Remus, on the other hand, feels like he could use any sort of guidance at all as he struggles with his own questions and fears about romance and relationships, and the absolutely terrifying feelings he has for one of his best friends.





	1. Oenomancy: Divination by Wine

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you haven't read any other works in this series, don't worry, it's not necessary. However, if you're interested in reading a close companion piece to this story, I would suggest [The Dog You Feed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344203/chapters/25387245), which tells my version of how Sirius ran away from home, and how he became friends with Lily.
> 
> If you're coming here having already read The Dog You Feed or any of my other works, I hope you enjoy this story too!

The door to the Hog’s Head Inn opened with a groan, letting in a spill of slushy snow and two laughing, red-cheeked teenagers. The handful of customers scattered around the barroom either regarded the cheerful newcomers with suspicion or pointedly ignored them. The old barman tried the latter tactic, at least until the boy staggered up to the bar.

“I need a bottle of elf-made wine—real bottom shelf stuff—Aberforth, and two glasses!” The young man shook black hair out of his eyes, flinging half-melted snow down the counter as he pulled a few coins out of a pocket.

“You’re already drunk, Black,” Aberforth grumbled, though he took the coins without hesitation. 

Sirius Black grinned crookedly. “Of course I’m already drunk,” he said. “We’ve been down at the Three Broomsticks sharing a few bottles of Rosemerta’s lovely mulled mead. However, she can’t hold a candle to you when it comes to stocking really terrible wine, good old Aberforth.”

Lily Evans stayed a few paces back, taking in the rough wooden tables, the grimy windows, and the shifty-looking clientele with wide, uncertain eyes. Slush was dripping off the hem of her winter cloak and mixing with the dirt on the floor to create a puddle of mud around her feet. 

From over at the counter, Sirius glanced over his shoulder and gave her an inebriated grin. “Grab us a table, will you, Lily?” He called out before returning to his negotiations with the barman.

Lily stepped out of her mud puddle and wandered across the room to a small table near a filthy bay window. She arranged her wet cloak to drape over the back of a chair before taking a seat. The world felt a bit steadier now that she was off her feet. Smiling to herself, Lily closed her eyes, tilted her head back, and enjoyed the sensation of the world rocking and spinning slowly around her.

The scrape of a chair brought her back as Sirius sat down across from her with a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, and two dented pewter goblets. Lily frowned at the pair of goblets when Sirius set them on the table in front of her. She was certain there was a thin patina of oily grime covering them, but she didn’t want to touch one to confirm her fears. Instead, she turned her attention back across the table to Sirius, who was swearing as he wrestled with the corkscrew and the wine bottle. 

The bottle was covered in a thick layer of dust. It left streaks of grey across Sirius’s robes as he shifted the bottle under one arm and yanked on the corkscrew. When the cork finally popped loose, he let out a whoop of triumph, causing a bit of wine to slosh out across his sleeve. It was amusing enough for Lily to forget her apprehension as she fell into a fit of giggles that ended in an undignified snort.

Sirius flashed her a crooked grin as he began to pour wine into both goblets. He filled them almost all the way to the top as he gave her a slurred lecture on elf-made wines. “Don’t take this bottle as—_hic_—an indicator of quality,” Sirius said, managing to sound like a pompous Pureblood even as he hiccupped halfway through his sentence. “The elf-made stuff is different from Muggle or wizard-made wines…a more complex palate...sometimes very bizarre…but it’s best for this ‘cause they ferment it in a way that leaves a lot of lees in the bottle—_sur lie, _as it’s called …”

He sloshed more wine across the table and Lily bit her lip to keep from giggling again. Her head felt light and full of bubbles, and it was incredibly entertaining when she moved it from side to side. She was drunk. She knew she was drunk because she’d been drunk once or twice before…just not _this_ drunk. 

She blamed Sirius for that. Sirius, and all the couples running around Hogsmeade cuddling and kissing and being all-around sickeningly romantic. They’d had to leave the Three Broomsticks because of all the stupid, sappy, sodding couples packing the place to the rafters and making it too warm. It was like she’d told Sirius halfway through her second cup of mulled mead: all the couples should be rounded up and forcibly shoved into Madam Puddifoot’s if they were going to be so…so _public_ with their snogging and love and all that nonsense.

Yes, leaving the Three Broomsticks had everything to do with the crowds and romantic couples in general. It had nothing to do with Clarence St. Simon showing up there with Artemisia Weatherly giggling on his arm. It certainly had nothing at all to do with the way Clarence had unceremoniously dumped Lily right after they’d returned from Christmas break, or the rumor that he’d left her because his parents disapproved of him dating a Muggle-born. They’d only left because of the heat and the all-around insufferableness of other people enjoying the wretched holiday that was Valentine’s Day.

It wasn’t too hot or too crowded here in the Hogshead though. It was drafty and dirty and smelled like a barn, and Lily found it all rather thrilling. She never would have come in here on her own, or if she was sober, but Sirius’s enthusiasm and her own intoxicated curiosity had been enough to overrule her already half-drowned common sense. 

“Hey, pay attention!” Sirius demanded petulantly. Apparently he’d continued to ramble about wine while Lily’s mind drifted and spun. “You’ve got to learn this stuff, Lily. You’re my last hope at having a friend I can enjoy good wine with. The other three are hopeless: James has the palate of a troll, half a glass of red makes Remus fall straight asleep, Peter’s actually allergic to wine, and not one of them can tell a Cabernet Sauvignon from a Cabernet Franc.”

“Neither can I,” Lily told him. 

“Yes, but you’re smart. You can _learn_,” Sirius said earnestly. “Although not today, this stuff is going to taste like manticore piss.” With that lovely endorsement, he handed her one of the goblets and clinked it lightly against his own.

Lily wrinkled her nose but reminded herself they weren’t here for the taste, they weren’t even here to get drunk…well, drunk_er_. They were here so Sirius could tell her fortune. Yet another thing Lily wouldn’t have entertained while sober. Divination had always seemed dodgy to begin with. Drunk divination seemed even dodgier, although much more fun.

“I have to drink the whole thing?” Lily asked, eying the very full goblet suspiciously. Sirius nodded.

“Leave about half a mouthful at the end. Swirl it three times clockwise then turn it over and let the last bit of wine run out—”

“Onto the table?” Lily interrupted, aghast. Sirius gestured to the barroom around them.

“Do you really think they care here?”

Lily touched the tabletop with a fingertip and found it already sticky with the remnants of long spilled drinks. She wrinkled her nose at it, but didn’t complain. Well, if a posh bastard like Sirius didn’t mind a little filth, then she wasn’t going to be the one to whinge about it. 

“Ready then?” Sirius asked, his goblet hovering near his lips. It sounded like a challenge when he said it. Lily raised her own, nodded, and as one they tilted back and gulped.

Lily swallowed mostly out of surprise. This did not taste at all like the occasional small glass of wine her parents had allowed her to have at holiday dinners, or like the bottle that Mary had snuck into school back in September. The elf wine had an aggressively acidic bite with an aftertaste that reminded Lily of sand and salt with just a hint of seasickness lingering on the back of her tongue. 

She emerged coughing and gagging. “Ugh! Why didn’t you warn me it was going to be all weird and magic and taste like a bad day at the Brighton Pier?” Lily sputtered. 

“I did,” Sirius replied. It gave her some comfort to see his own face was contorted with disgust as well. “You weren’t listening. Did you finish?”

Lily shook her head and wrinkled her nose, but when Sirius raised his glass to drink again, she braced herself and drank deep again. It took another three swigs before Lily reached the bottom of the goblet, and by then her head was spinning even when she didn’t move it from side to side.

“Upside down…” Sirius slurred. “Turn it down…upside down—Oh! Don’t forget to swirl first though!” He demonstrated, counting out loud as he clumsily tilted his goblet in three uneven circles before upending it onto the table with more force than he’d probably intended. Lily mimicked his motions, though she knocked her goblet on its side before hastily turning it properly upside down.

A thin trickle of ruby liquid leaked out beneath one edge and ran across the table, small rivulets getting caught in the scratches and cracks of the wood. Someone, Lily noticed, had carved two sets of initials into the tabletop. “EK+BG” it read, surrounded by a shaky, lopsided heart. Lily rolled her eyes. She couldn’t escape romance even here it seemed.

“Ok, now turn it back over,” Sirius instructed. They both righted their empty goblets and Lily peered curiously into hers. There were small patches and trails of pinkish-purple silt stuck to the insides of the goblet’s bowl, the lees Sirius had been going on about, Lily presumed. He claimed he could read the future in their shape and placement. It was rubbish of course, in part because divination in general was rubbish, but mostly because if anyone could see the future it would not be Sirius Black. Still, Lily couldn’t quite squash her inebriated curiosity.

“Right, give it here,” Sirius said, beckoning for her glass. Lily passed it across the small table to him. Sirius squinted and tilted the goblet so the light from the stubby candle in the middle of the table could shine into the bowl.

“Well now, that’s interesting…” Sirius mused, bending even closer to examine something. Unable to help herself, Lily leaned in closer as well. “Veeerry interesting…”

“Sirius, I swear to Merlin, Morgana, all four Founders, and the Minister for Magic himself, that if you use this as an excuse to tell me I’m going to fall in love with James Potter I will hex your underpants five sizes too small,” Lily warned him.

Sirius gave a bark of laughter and winked at her. “Your first mistake is assuming I’m wearing pants at all, Lily darling. Secondly, I promise I won’t. Besides, he’s been good lately, you have to admit he has.” 

Perhaps it was because she was drunk, but Lily had to admit he was right. Since coming back for their sixth year, Potter had slowly backed off his obnoxious campaign of flirtation. When she’d started dating someone else he’d stopped entirely and hadn’t even tried hexing Clarence while they were dating or after. It was almost suspiciously mature of him.

“That being said,” Sirius continued. “This bit right there _does_ look an awful lot like James’s hair…”

He tilted the cup so Lily could see a spiky shaped patch of lees clinging to the inner wall of the goblet. Lily let out a startled burst of laughter. “Oh Merlin, it does!” She said. “That doesn’t mean anything though!” She added quickly, poking Sirius hard in the shoulder to emphasize her point.

“Nah, ’s probably a hedgehog anyway,” Sirius assured her. “I regularly confuse the back of James’s head with furry woodland creatures.”

Lily had to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle the giggles threatening to tumble out of her. “What’s a hedgehog mean then?” She asked once she had herself under control again.

Sirius’s brow wrinkled thoughtfully. “They can be a sign of defensiveness or shyness about something, possibly over-sensitivity. Alternatively, it refers to losing your soul.”

“Losing my soul? What the fuck, Black?” Lily demanded. The absurdity and unexpectedly dark turn of that interpretation momentarily cutting through the haze of drunkenness to startle her.

“It’s _probably_ not that one,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Let’s see what else you have in here besides a soul-stealing hedgehog…”

He ran a finger around the rim of the cup as he peered inside with an intensity Lily didn’t think was entirely alcohol-driven.

“You really believe this stuff, don’t you?” Lily asked. It was perplexing, because divination was pretty much rubbish, but also endearing. 

Sirius looked up from the cup and shrugged, though the wistfully contemplative look on his face undermined the casual gesture. 

“I like the idea behind it all,” he confessed. His words were slurred, but sincere. “That there’s something more, some sort of plan or rhythm…or _whatever_…to everything out there. I’m not a seer, I’m never going to speak prophesies or discover great truths…but sometimes I can see hints of it in the movements of the stars and planets or the dregs at the bottom of a cup of tea. It makes me feel like I’m part of something bigger than myself and what I can see around me.”

“Wow,” Lily replied. “That was…deep…”

Sirius wrinkled his nose at her. “That was nothing, you should hear Peter when he’s stoned, bloody sage he is.”

Still, when he turned his attention back to her goblet, Lily paid a bit more attention to what he was doing.

“A cup, meaning celebration…these lines here symbolize change…you do have a heart in here, which means love, but I don’t think it’s for you…hmm…”

“Another lonely Valentine’s Day then,” Lily said with a sigh that was only half exaggerated. She would tear out her own tongue before admitting it, but Lily wouldn’t have been particularly opposed if Sirius had found a little romance for her in the cup, just so long as it wasn’t with Potter, or Clarence St. Simon. 

Sirius studied the cup for another minute before sitting back and tilting it for Lily to see. “So, there’s going to be a change in your life, a celebration related to love, but it won’t be wholly welcome. You’re going to feel defensive about it, possibly even hurt by it—hence the hedgehog—but you also have a crooked sun here, so there will still be some happiness in the outcome, even if it isn’t for you directly.”

“Well, that’s not exactly heartening,” Lily said, taking her cup back from him. It wasn’t that she suddenly believed Sirius could really tell the future, but still, it would have been nice to hear something nice, like she was going to become head girl and ace all her N.E.W.T.s next year, or perhaps meet a devastatingly handsome and intelligent wizard from some Mediterranean country. 

“I don’t make the fortunes, I just read them,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Any ideas what it actually means then, Mr. Seer? Is Clarence going to ask that bint Artemisia to marry him or something?” She scoffed as she reached for the bottle of wine and poured herself another half glass, washing away all the symbols and signs. 

“Because I wouldn’t feel defensive about _that_! I wish the two of them the best,” Lily continued, pausing to down a gulp of wine, grimacing at the aftertaste of low tide at the seashore. “They deserve each other.”

“So you’ve said,” Sirius replied. “Many times. Are you sure you don’t want me to jinx him? I learned this really good one that would _literally_ make him talk out his arse.”

Lily broke down in giggles again at the mental image, but resolutely shook her head. “No! No retaliation. I’m the classy one in this breakup, not him.”

Sirius waved her objections away with a dismissive hand gesture. “Fine, enjoy the view from the high road.”

“I will, it’s quite nice, not that you’d know,” Lily replied, forcing herself to sip her wine primly without pulling a face. Sirius grinned and directed a very rude hand gesture in her direction.

“All right then, what’s your cup got to say about _your_ future?” Lily said, trying to get their conversation away from her ex-boyfriend.

“Let’s see…” Sirius picked up his own goblet and stared into it. Lily watched as his brow wrinkled and his eyebrows drew together in a muddle of confusion and dismay.

“Well,” Lily pressed. The wine was beginning to hit her by now. Her face felt hot and the giddiness was returning stronger than before. 

“I’m…not sure how to interpret this,” Sirius said uncertainly. 

Her curiosity caught, Lily snatched the goblet from his hands and peered inside herself. She didn’t know the first thing about reading or interpreting what she might find within, yet even to her inexperienced eye Sirius’s lees seemed to have formed a very strange pattern…a very repetitive pattern.

“Sirius, why’s your cup so full of moons?” Lily asked, leaning so close her nose hit the rim of the goblet. The bowl was littered with crooked little crescents, almost exclusively, though there appeared to be a few other more blobbish shapes mixed among all the moons. “Oh look! You have a few hearts too—though that one looks like it might be broken. What does it mean?”

Before she could contemplate it any further, Sirius snatched the goblet back out of her hands and poured the last of the wine into it. “It means we need to keep drinking,” he said hastily.

If her head was on straight, Lily never would have let him get away with changing the subject like that. However, she was a long, long ways from sober, and so his suggestion seemed perfectly logical. She gulped down another mouthful, barely wincing at all this time. Across from her, Sirius guzzled his own wine like he wanted to swallow down the evidence of all those moons plastered to the sides of his goblet.


	2. Capnomancy: Divination by Smoke

James was beginning to become a distraction. Remus had been able to concentrate on his charms reading just fine while his friend had only been pacing back and forth in front of the common room fireplace, but now James had taken to sighing heavily and muttering under his breath as he wore a hole in the rug. 

Risking a glance over the top of his book, Remus saw that James had stopped to stare out the nearest window, squinting down at the grounds still blanketed with snow. Never mind that the window faced away from the path down to Hogsmeade. Heaving another dramatic sigh worthy of Sirius at his finest, and James turned back toward the common room. Hastily, Remus tried to duck back down beneath the shelter of his book, but it was too late. James had made eye contact.

“Where are they? It’s getting late.” James asked fretfully. 

“Probably snogging,” Peter said blithely from where he was sprawled on the floor writing an herbology essay. 

James stopped in his tracks, his face going a queasy shade of green at the sheer horror of such a betrayal. Then the rest of his brain seemed to catch up and reminded James that his very gay best friend was not about to snog the girl James had a desperate crush on. Instead, James threw a quick glance around the room to see if anyone might have overheard.

“Don’t say things like that, Wormtail!” James chastised. “Some people still believe that stupid rumor from last year. Especially now that Lily and that Ravenclaw tosser aren’t dating anymore.” 

Despite everything else, a small smile tugged at James’s lips, likely at the thought of Lily’s recent breakup. His mood had swung wildly between dancing elation and indignant anger that _anyone_ would ever dare shun Lily Evans’s affections. Honestly, it was bloody exhausting.

Peter snorted as he dipped his quill into his inkpot and started another sentence. “It’d be their own fault. I mean, Lily and Sirius did choose to go to Hogsmeade together, _right before Valentine’s Day_.”

James did not look pleased by this logic. With an indignant huff he dropped onto the sofa next to Remus. While he wasn’t about to indulge James in his pity party—especially since it was James’s fault the three of them had been serving detention for most of the day rather than going to Hogsmeade themselves—Remus had to admit he was getting curious. 

Most of the other students had already trickled back from the village laden with bags from Honeydukes and Zonkos. Too much longer and Lily and Sirius would officially be late. That wouldn’t be surprising if it were just Sirius, but Lily was usually quite punctual.

Silently, Remus cursed James, because now he was beginning to worry too. Thankfully, before Remus gave into the urge to take up James’s pacing route before the fire, the portrait hole swung open and Lily and Sirius stumbled in, red-faced and shushing each other as they both giggled. Remus recognized the signs instantly, especially as they staggered in tandem, holding each other up. 

Lily Evans and Sirius Black were well and thoroughly drunk. 

From Sirius it wasn’t completely unexpected, but from Lily it was a shock. Tearing his eyes away from the pair, Remus glanced at James. Behind his glasses, James’s eyes were huge and round, completely gobsmacked.

Sirius, who might have been the marginally more sober of the pair, caught sight of his friends near the fire and steered Lily in their direction. He deposited the giggling redhead into an armchair and plunked himself down on the floor at her feet, flashing a grin at his fellow Marauders.

“You tossers missed one hell of a good day in Hogsmeade,” he said cheerfully. Lily giggled again as she struggled to kick off her trainers. “This one can hold her liquor like a camel!” 

Lily lightly shoved the back of his head with a sock-clad foot. “Shh...Sirius, I don’t want everyone to know we were drinking! Besides, that’s a horrible analogy. I am insulted, very, very insulted.” A snort interrupted her laughter and Lily clapped a hand over her nose and mouth as she and Sirius sniggered.

“You’re both drunk,” James said. He sounded half in awe and half confused, and maybe just a bit disapproving.

Sirius elbowed Lily in the calf and leaned close to stage whisper behind a cupped hand. “Told you he was smarter than his hair looks…Yes, Prongs, my very best friend, my brother from a much better mother—and father—we are quite drunk.”

Lily leaned forward conspiratorially. James, Remus, and Peter all leaned in as well as she said in much too loud of a voice. “We had to sneak back into the castle so Filch wouldn’t catch us. Sirius showed me a secret passageway!”

“Oi, Sirius!” Peter protested. “Those are supposed to be _our_ secrets.”

Sirius waved him off. “It’s all right, Pete. Lily promised not to tell anyone, not even McGonagall.”

Lily straightened and traced an X over her chest. “Cross my heart,” she said with slurred gravity.

“Morgana’s lacy knickers! What’ve you done to Lily?” Alice Fortescue asked as she and Mary McDonald approached their corner. Mary seemed content to lean against the back of the sofa near Remus’s shoulder, but Alice made clucking sounds of dismay as she hurried over to Lily’s chair.

“Ugh, the two of you smell like a brewery,” Alice said, wrinkling her nose.

“I resent that,” Sirius said, nearly toppling over in his efforts to look up at Alice. “We should smell like a winery if anything, since we drank wine…or at least that’s the last thing we drank. There was some mead before that—”

“And the blue thing in the little glasses!” Lily added helpfully.

“And the blue thing in the little glasses,” Sirius repeated with a nod.

“Well, whatever you drank you obviously drank a lot of it,” Alice said. “How did you even manage it? The innkeepers aren’t supposed to sell to Hogwarts students.”

Sirius grinned in a way that might have been rakish if he’d been sober. Instead it was lopsided and rather witless looking. “You just don’t know how to sweet-talk the right people,” he said proudly. 

Alice threw a look at the other three Marauders like this was somehow their fault. “You better not have taken advantage, Sirius Black.” Alice said in a voice that promised violence if she found out he had.

Lily snorted again and covered her mouth with both hands to muffle her laughter. Lily, like James, Peter, and Remus himself, knew that Sirius had absolutely no interest in any woman, drunk or sober. 

“Never!” Sirius said dramatically, clapping a hand over his heart. “Everyone knows I’m waiting for you to ditch Longbottom so we can run off together, because you, Alice, are my one true love.” 

Alice rolled her eyes and nudged Sirius out of the way so she could pull Lily up from the chair. Lily was still swaying, but Alice heaved an arm under her shoulder and began to tug her toward the stairs to the girls’ dormitories.

“Let’s get some water in you and put you to bed, Lily, you’re going to be cursing Sirius’s bollocks off in the morning for this.”

“Hey!” Sirius said, giving an almost doglike yelp.

Remus barely heard him though, because Mary’s hand had dropped to his shoulder, and Remus was certain that he could feel the heat of her skin even through his heavy wool jumper. She must have applied perfume to the pulse point in her wrist, because the smell of jasmine was suddenly filling his nose. It made him feel dizzy in a way he wasn’t sure he liked or disliked. Either way, it was heady and confounding.

“Well, I should probably follow them and help tuck Lily in for the night,” Mary said. She gave Remus’s shoulder a quick squeeze before pushing away from the sofa and trailing after her roommates, the scent of jasmine lingering in her wake. Remus closed his eyes as he tried not to wince. 

At James and Sirius’s “Welcome Back from Christmas” party, Remus had been almost as drunk as Sirius and Lily were now, and he’d made the mistake of snogging Mary in a shadowed corner of the common room. Then he’d repeated that same mistake two weeks later while completely sober. 

It had been…nice. Better than nice really, but still a terrible mistake.

True, he’d had a short-lived relationship that past summer with a Muggle girl named Beth from the village where his parents lived, but he’d known from the start that their tryst would never survive past September, and so had Beth. In reality, they hadn’t even lasted through the end of July. 

Remus might have liked to kiss Mary again, but the last time, Mary had made it clear she wanted more than that, both physically and emotionally. She’d tried to slide her hands up under his shirt and asked Remus to Hogsmeade between kisses. Remus had panicked, pulling away before her hands could find any of his scars.

It had been easy with Beth to explain away his scars. He’d fed her a story about being attacked by a large dog when he was a child, and she’d believed him. Mary was a witch though. She might be Muggleborn, but she knew werewolves were real. If Remus tried to tell her the same lie he’d told Beth it would only raise more questions. 

Dog bites and scratches could have easily been healed by magic. What if she asked why Remus still had scars? It was an easy enough jump from dog attack to werewolf attack if you’d passed third year Defense Against the Dark Arts. So, even if Remus really did want to follow the smell of Mary’s perfume, he couldn’t. It was too much of a risk, especially since Mary seemed to want more than a stolen shag or two. She actually seemed to like him, maybe even _date_ him, and that just wasn’t an option.

Besides, his situation was even more complicated than lycanthropy now. 

Sirius was a little unsteadily as he climbed to his feet, but he kept his balance well enough as he groaned and stretched his arms high over his head, exposing a strip of pale skin as his untucked shirt rode up. A thin trail of black hair started below his belly button and ran downward until it disappeared beneath the waistband of his trousers. Remus found it difficult to look away, even when Sirius lowered his arms and the hem of his shirt fell back down.

_That_ was the further complication.

After his amicable breakup with Beth, Remus had gotten close to her older brother Luke. That closeness had culminated in snogging and not quite shagging but just about everything up to that point. 

Things would have been difficult enough if he was just attracted to girls. Throwing boys into the mixture made things twice as confusing and thorny. Especially when those feelings sometimes stirred for his closest friends. Sirius was the worst, of course. In part because Remus knew Sirius was the only one of his friends with an interest in boys, but mostly because Sirius was Sirius—handsome, passionate, and wild. It was easy to get lost in thoughts of Sirius Black.

That would be a far greater mistake than snogging Mary again. Remus couldn’t fancy one of his best friends. He might not have to worry about Sirius figuring out he was a werewolf, but there were a hundred other worries to replace that one.

No, fancying Sirius wasn’t an option. So, Remus carefully looked away from his and shoved his fanciful impulses back in the box he’d built for them deep within his heart.

“I need a smoke,” Sirius muttered, turning toward the stairs. He stumbled over one of Lily’s abandoned trainers and nearly fell, just barely managing to catch himself on the side of the sofa. It put him within inches of Remus, whose breath caught in his throat so suddenly it felt like choking. 

For a moment they stared at each other, both surprised by their abrupt proximity. Sirius blinked and—oh, Merlin!—there were just a few flecks of blue in his grey eyes, like flashes of sky through storm clouds. 

That box in Remus’s chest burst open and messy feelings tumbled back out. Sirius flashed him a grin as he leaned back.

“Oof, sorry, Moony…nearly fell on you there…you do look comfy though. Can I use you as a pillow if I have to lie down?” Sirius asked. A second later he sniggered like that was the funniest thing he’d heard all night. Remus caught a whiff of the alcohol on Sirius’s breath, and that was enough to jar him back to his senses, at least for now. Sirius was drunk and clumsy and stupid right now. Nothing he did or said meant anything.

“Here, I’ll help you up the stairs, Padfoot,” Remus offered, helping Sirius back to his feet. “Last thing we need is you breaking your neck.”

“My hero,” Sirius said, leaning heavily against Remus’s side.

“Make sure you open a window!” Peter called after them. “Those things reek!”

“Yes, grandmother!” Sirius called as he let Remus lead him toward the stairs. 

It was awkward and almost hazardous making their way up the stairs. Sirius was unsteady and had to keep one hand on the wall and his other bunched in Remus’s robes, but they managed it without injury or incident. 

Remus released Sirius to collapse on his bed with a groan before retreating to the safety of his own bed. Sirius squirmed about for a moment, and Remus felt guilty for watching more closely than could be considered friendly. Finally, Sirius he managed to roll over and pull a pack of cigarettes out from under his mattress. 

Thankfully, he had enough of his wits left to remember Peter’s request and stumbled to the window, opening it wide. Sirius didn’t seem to mind the rush of frigid winter air. He turned his face into it and breathed deeply. It did seem to sober him up a bit. His eyes drifted closed for a moment before opening again so he could light his cigarette with a charm.

Remus had left his book downstairs, but there was another sitting on his bedside table. He picked it up and thumbed it open, but it was mostly for show. He was too busy watching Sirius as he smoked to actually read. The wind tossed strands of black hair across Sirius’s face, which was silvered by the waxing moonlight. 

“So, you had fun with Lily today?” Remus asked. He was trying to distract himself more than anything.

Sirius smiled as he exhaled smoke through his nostrils. “It was fun. I didn’t intend for us to get drunk, but her tosser of an ex-boyfriend waltzed into the Three Broomsticks with some new tart on his arm.”

Remus nodded knowingly. Sirius wasn’t always the best at comforting friends in distress. He tended toward trying to hex the problem or drown it out. Lily had probably stopped him from doing the former, so he’d defaulted to the latter and had quite literally drowned Lily’s sorrows. 

“I took her to the Hog’s Head and read our fortunes in wine lees,” Sirius said almost absently. His cigarette was dangling from his fingers. He seemed more interested in watching the smoke rising from its smoldering tip than actually smoking the cigarette itself.

Remus couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of Sirius and Lily drinking and telling fortunes in that dirty, dingy old pub. Lily must have already been beyond tipsy to let Sirius drag her into the Hog’s Head. He’d have plenty to tease her about, once she was past her hangover.

“What did you two see in your futures then?” Remus asked. He wasn’t serious, divination had always struck him as very subjective and prone to personal biases. That just made him more curious about Sirius’s readings though. It wasn’t insight into the future, but it was possibly insight into Sirius himself.

Sirius was clearheaded enough to recognize the mockery in Remus’s tone, because he wrinkled his nose and stuck his tongue out at Remus before drawing himself up straight. Instantly, Sirius became a caricatured picture of haughty Pureblood nobility and Remus couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll have you know, Moony, that there is going to be something related to love happening in Lily’s life that she’s not going to like, but that will make someone else happy,” Sirius said without a hint of doubt. 

Remus raised an eyebrow. He closed his book and set it back on the bedside table. The pretense felt hollow when he was so clearly giving Sirius his undivided attention. “That just sounds like Valentine’s Day, which is in two days, and which is almost certainly going to make Lily miserable, but will also make many young lovebirds very happy.” 

Sirius clucked disapprovingly and jabbed his cigarette in Remus’s direction accusingly. “Such a skeptic, Moony. You should try opening up and embracing the universe a little more.”

Remus snorted and shook his head. His distaste for divination was well-known, and he didn’t want to argue its merits—or lack thereof—with Sirius right now. Not when he was drunk and even more immune to logic than he was normally. Besides, divination could be a touchy topic for Sirius at times. He enjoyed it and believed in it, but that very appreciation had ties to his past and his family. The House of Black and all things associated with it were dangerous topics even at the best and most sober of times.

Instead, Remus played along. He smiled and nodded in acquiescence. “All right then, Padfoot. What did you see in _your_ future?” Remus asked.

Sirius’s attention had drifted back to the tendrils of smoke rising from his cigarette. The breeze coming in through the window was twisting the smoke into strange shapes. It was interesting, but definitely not worth the attention Sirius was paying it.

Finally, when Remus was just beginning to worry. Sirius drew in a deep breath. For a moment, his eyes flicked over to Remus. Then they returned to watching the smoke rising from his cigarette. He smiled wryly and finally raised the cigarette back to his lips. His free hand rose and dashed through the trails of smoke, scattering them. It was almost a violent gesture, and for some reason he couldn’t understand, it unnerved Remus a little.

“I saw what I always see…” Sirius said. “Things I can’t have.”


	3. Extispicy: Divination by Animal Entrails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to put an actual tag for it unless someone requests it, but there is some very vague gore in this chapter, as suggested by the chapter title.

“This is the only N.E.W.T. class that hasn’t become harder so much as it’s just become _weirder_,” Sirius grumbled as he reached his hands further into the abdominal cavity of the dead sheep laying on the table before him.

“Ugh, speak for yourself. This is much more difficult than crystal gazing,” Mary McDonald muttered. She looked a little green in the face as she watched Sirius dig through entrails. 

Mary was the only other Gryffindor in his year who had continued with Divination on to the N.E.W.T. level. James and Peter had both failed their O.W.L. exam after treating the class like a joke for the better part of three years, and Alice had lost interest in the subject halfway through fourth year. Lily and Remus, ever the skeptics, hadn’t taken it to begin with. Sirius was glad to have at least one of his housemates left in class. It might have been unbearable if he’d had to join up with the quartet of Hufflepuffs, the one perpetually embarrassed-looking Ravenclaw, or—Merlin forbid—the Slytherins. 

As if they’d heard his thoughts, a boom of laughter echoed around the room. Sirius glanced over his shoulder to see that Mulciber and Avery had animated a length of intestines from their own ewe and were using it to torment one of the Hufflepuffs, an apple-cheeked girl named Wendy who Peter had dated for a few months in fifth year. The slick intestines were wiggling in midair and darting toward Wendy like a cobra striking to bite.

“Those bastards,” Mary hissed under her breath. Looking back at her, Sirius was shocked to see the depths of fury and hatred in her eyes. Mary was usually one of the nicest people Sirius knew, or at least one of the nicest people willing to tolerate him for very long. Then he remembered something else from fifth year, a rumor that Mulciber had done something to Mary. Sirius didn’t know any details. Some people said it was nothing more than a prank, but others whispered that it had been something much worse. If he had to guess, Sirius would have leaned toward the latter based on the murderous expression darkening Mary’s face.

Old Professor Moiragetes was asleep at his desk, per usual, and oblivious to everything happening in his class. Before Mary could go and do something that would get her in more trouble than she deserved, Sirius pulled out his own wand and muttered a spell. Instantly, the length of entrails rippled and transformed into an actual snake. Its head whipped around, mouth opening to hiss as it bared its fangs at the Slytherins.

Mulciber jumped back so quickly he tripped over a stool and fell on his arse. Avery let out a high-pitched noise that fell somewhere between a shriek and a scream. Moiragetes startled awake at the sound, but by the time he’d sat up straight and blinked the sleep from his eyes, Sirius had undone his spell, leaving the length of intestines to splat wetly down on Mulciber’s lap. 

As soon as he took in the scene, Professor Moiragetes began to lecture the two Slytherins on “squeamishness and sloppiness.” He ignored their protests, and no one else in the class said a word to correct the professor as he took seven points from each boy. Still grumbling, the professor reminded them all to take careful note of the size and shape of the liver and lungs, “especially any bumps or discoloration,” before returning to his chair and closing his eyes. 

Sirius winked and grinned at Avery and Mulciber as they picked themselves up and returned to their ewe, shooting him glares that promised retribution.

“Thank you,” Mary said quietly as she and Sirius resumed their quest for sheep organs, particularly the sort with bumps and blotches.

Sirius shrugged. “Like I ever need an excuse to hex tosspots like those two,” he said, wanting to spare as much of Mary’s pride as possible.

She smiled then, subtly nodding across the room. “Like it or not, Black, it looks like you’re someone’s new knight in shining armor,” she said. Sirius looked over his shoulder in the direction she’d indicated. Wendy staring at him with a sweet smile and far too much interest. She blushed when she realized she’d been caught and hurriedly looked down at her textbook. Sirius turned back toward Mary to hide his grimace.

“Oh, don’t be like that, she’s not bad,” Mary said cheerily, nudging him playfully with her elbow. “Quite pretty really, and she’s very sweet.”

“Nope, not an option,” Sirius said firmly. “Wendy used to date Peter. It would be an unforgiveable violation of our friendship for me to get involved with her.” Which was a handy excuse for his utter and complete lack of romantic or sexual interest in girls. If only his friends dated around a bit more. It really would make things so much easier for Sirius. 

Unfortunately, James was now well and truly hung up on Lily. Peter averaged one long-term relationship per school year. As for Remus…Remus just didn’t date. He’d never said why, but Sirius assumed it had to do with some mix of his furry little problem and his furry little problem related self-loathing.

Mary gave a snort of laughter but seemed to let the matter drop as she gritted her teeth and went hunting for the sheep’s spleen. They worked in silence for a few more minutes, Professor Moiragetes’s snores echoing through the classroom. Then Mary spoke again.

“You know, I’m glad my friends and I don’t have a code like you and yours do,” she said, clearly hinting at something. “Otherwise Lily might get huffy with me.”

“Oh? How so,” Sirius asked, taking the bait. He wasn’t above enjoying a bit of gossip. “Wait, you’re not dating that St. Simon bloke who dumped her, are you?”

“Ew! Not a chance!” Mary said, wrinkling her nose. “Not after what he did to Lily. Besides, Muggle-hating, bludger-brained louts are not my type at all. I suppose it’s not someone Lily ever dated anyway, just someone she had a crush on a few years ago. She doesn’t like him anymore though—not like _that_ at least.”

“Because her frosty heart is secretly thawing and she’s slowly realizing she’s in love with James?” Sirius teased.

“You’d better hope I don’t tell her you said that,” Mary replied, wagging a gore-stained finger at him.

“Please don’t,” Sirius said with a wince. “I quite like my bollocks attached to my body.”

“We’ll see,” Mary said in a taunting, almost sing-song voice as she grinned evilly at Sirius.

Pulling out what he was pretty sure was the sheep’s liver, Sirius plopped it on the table and awkwardly used his elbow to turn the page in his divination textbook without getting blood on the paper. 

“All right,” Sirius said, peering between the organ and the book in front of him. “I think the shape of this means…we’re going to have bad weather soon.”

Mary snorted again. “Bad weather in February…in Scotland. That’s quite the revelation right there.” 

“All right,” Sirius said, pushing the liver toward Mary’s side of the workbench. “What do you foresee, O Prophetess Mary?” 

She frowned and that green tinge returned to her cheeks, but she rose admirably to the challenge. Picking up the liver to turn it this way and that, Mary squinted down at her own textbook. “See this here?” Mary said, pointing to one end of the organ. “The gall bladder is small and sits a little to the left. That’s supposed to mean disappointment in romantic matters.”

“For you or me?” Sirius asked, only half joking. He felt his own stomach clench in a way that had nothing to do with digging through sheep entrails or the associated smell.

“Probably for Wendy,” Mary replied. Sirius grimaced again. 

There were so many days when he wished he could just tell people he was gay. It would make things so much simpler if he didn’t have to waffle around coming up with excuses and lies whenever his female classmates expressed an interest in him. They didn’t live in a lovely, easy world like that though. Sirius had to keep his sexuality quiet lest his family turn their attention, and their vengeance, on him and anyone he dared to love. Bad enough that the House of Black had birthed a blood traitor, let alone a queer blood traitor. 

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek to keep from sighing like the woeful heroine in one of Lily’s trashy romance novels—which he ruitinely borrowed, usually without permission. Those heroines always overcame their terrible circumstances and wound up marrying handsome highlanders or dukes, which didn’t seem likely for Sirius. He’d run away from home, but most days it felt like he would never truly escape his family.

Sirius did his best to push a few errant strands of hair off his forehead with the back of his forearm seeing as his hands were both filthy. Instead of dwelling on his family—always a topic guaranteed to sour his mood—he tried to deduce who Mary secretly fancied. 

Someone Lily had previously had a crush on but had never dated…It could be that Fawcett bloke, but he’d graduated last year. Sirius was fairly certain Lily had had a crush on Bartleby Ibbott at one time, but both she and Mary were out of luck if they looked in that direction. Ibbott was far more likely to snog Sirius in a broom cupboard than either of them, and he had, several times, though not since early last November. He had a real boyfriend now, the sort he could take on dates and be seen with in public.

Sirius and Lily had talked about their exes and past crushes before, so he pulled up that knowledge as he tried not to think about the smell of the intestines he was examining. Lily usually had a penchant for smart, slightly starchy boys, mostly Ravenclaws, but also—

“Remus,” Sirius said, blurting the name out before he could stop himself. Mary startled and blinked up at him. If he’d been uncertain before, the look on her face and the way she was beginning to blush confirmed it. “You fancy Remus.”

Mary’s mouth dropped open and for a moment she gaped at Sirius with wide eyes. “I—er, yeah, I do,” Mary mumbled, ducking her head back down toward her book, the color rising up her cheeks all the way to the tips of her ears.

Sirius’s mouth felt dry. He tried to swallow, but he couldn’t quite seem to manage it around a sudden lump that had formed in his throat. Instead, he coughed and almost choked, turning his head into his sleeve. 

Mary glanced up at him with terror in her eyes. “Is that bad?” she asked. “Should I not? I mean we’ve kissed a few times since term started but he’s never said anything and, I invited him to Hogsmeade, but he had detention, and—oh Merlin, does he not like me?”

She looked so hurt and frightened. 

Sirius was tempted to say tell her that no, Remus didn’t like her. He could do it. The lie would be easy. He knew Remus extremely well and Mary well enough to make up some story she would believe. He could make sure she never said a word about her crush to Remus, that it withered and died unspoken. 

Merlin and Morgana, he wanted to stamp out Mary’s silly little infatuation like a cigarette butt under the heel of his boot.

“No,” Sirius said. Then he caught himself. A rush of shame twisted in his chest. Remus had never said anything about fancying Mary, but that wasn’t unusual. He was often quiet when the others spoke about girls—or boys in Sirius’s case—and snogging or dating. Mary said they’d already snogged a few times, or kissed at the very least. Remus wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t like Mary. He wasn’t the sort to lead a girl on or use them.

Who was Sirius to drive a kind, funny girl away from his friend? Who was he to deny Remus some potential happiness?

Why was he even considering it?

Sirius quickly pushed that question away before his mind could supply the obvious answer.

“No,” Sirius repeated after clearing his throat. “I mean, it’s not bad. Remus hasn’t said anything, but that’s not unusual. He’s not the sort to kiss and tell.”

Mary’s blush darkened, but a smile tugged at her lips. “I know,” she said, a bit wistfully, but also a bit proudly. “That’s one of the things I like about him. He’s a real gentleman, not the sort of boy who runs around snogging girls in broom cupboards and never speaking to them again.”

Sirius thought that sounded exactly like what Remus and Mary had done, but he bit his tongue to keep from saying as much.

Mary seemed to realize exactly what she’d said, but took an entirely different point from it. She grimaced, embarrassed and gave Sirius a smile. “No offense meant,” she assured him. “Lots of girls like that! It’s just…not my style…”

“No offense taken,” Sirius replied, though he turned his shoulder to her, glaring back down at his book and his pile of entrails. Sirius’s looks combined with his chronic absence of any acknowledged girlfriends had inevitably birthed rumors that he was something of a slag. Most of Hogwarts seemed to think he was exactly the sort of boy who ran around snogging girls in broom cupboards and never speaking to them again. Never mind that, if anyone ever bothered to dig a little deeper, they wouldn’t find a single girl who could give a firsthand account of any broom cupboard snogging with Sirius. Not an honest one, anyway.

He supposed the rumors weren’t entirely wrong though, only about the girls part. Sirius had never actually had anyone he would consider a boyfriend. He’d never thought he even wanted one before now. He’d always been happy enough with the occasional quiet quid pro quo arrangements for getting each other off. 

Maybe he still didn’t even actually want a boyfriend. Maybe he was just feeling contrary and obstinate. His family would hate the idea of Sirius loving one man more than they’d hate him tossing off a string of blokes who meant nothing to him. He did love to spite his family, but that didn’t seem like a good foundation for a relationship.

Only…sometimes, the idea of having someone, one someone he could always turn to for more than just getting each other off…sometimes that sounded nice. 

“Do you think he’ll ask me on a date?” Mary asked. “I know the next Hogsmeade weekend isn’t for a while, but I’d be happy to just go for a walk around the lake or even sitting and talking somewhere quiet for a while.” 

She still sounded hesitant and a little embarrassed, but she was also hinting. She was hoping Sirius was going to run back to his friend and relay all of this. She was counting on him giving Remus a push, or at least a less-than-subtle hint. Sirius didn’t think he could do that though. 

It wasn’t fair or right of him to stand in the way if Remus wanted to date Mary, but he knew he could never bring himself to encourage it either. He just…couldn’t. The very thought of it made him nauseous.

“Remus is…he’s shy sometimes…” Sirius said. 

Mary nodded and frowned thoughtfully. “That’s true,” she said. “Do you think he’d be all right with it if I did the asking?”

Helplessly, Sirius shrugged. 

Mary seemed to take encouragement from his noncommittal gesture. She smiled as she reached up into their sheep’s chest cavity cutting through tendons and flesh with her athame.

“There we are!” Mary said, triumphantly yanking her hand out, holding up an organ. Then she frowned. “That’s not a lung…”

“No,” Sirius replied. His voice sounded strained to his own ears, his small laugh tinny. “You got it right by the heart.”

Mary’s frown deepened, then she shrugged and plopped the heart down on the table. “Oh well, I think the diagram for that’s on page seventy-three. Let’s cut it open and see what the future holds, eh?”

_Too late for that,_ a dour voice in the back of Sirius’s head replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi or ask me questions on Tumblr at [@january3693](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/january3693)


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